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On 11 December 2007 author Terry Pratchett announced online and with glorious good humour that he’d been diagnosed with a rare form of Alzheimer’s disease.The news still shocks me, partly because it’s the first time I’ve heard the phrase “eat the arse out of a dead mole” in a press release, but mainly because it’s always a crying shame when terrible things happen to brilliant people.I wanted to help. In an interview with The Times two days later, Pratchett cheerfully told me that I simply wasn’t qualified: “I know it’s a very human thing to say, “Is there anything I can do?” but in this case I would only entertain offers from very high-end experts in brain chemistry.”
I flunked chemistry and biology with crying colours, so I turned to a more traditional way of exploring the problem; I picked up a good book. The hardback I chose was “Going Postal” by the great man himself. On page 17 Pratchett gives a wonderful life lesson that I’d like to share with you today.
Getting past the pineappleGoing Postal tells the story of a skilled con artist forced to turn his life around to change the world for the better. In the opening scene, our troubled trickster ponders the meaning of life while seconds away from death at the gallows:
“What you had to do in this life was get past the pineapple, Moist told himself. It was big and sharp and knobbly, but there might be peaches underneath.”
What a wonderful little nugget of philosophy—a lesson in living from a fruit bowl! Only Pratchett could take a pineapple, add the word “knobbly”, and create a neatly-formed metaphor for overcoming hardship. Here’s what it teaches us:
10 lessons in life from your fruit bowl1. The juicy fruit is often underneathThere will be times when life gets sharp and knobbly. Your challenge is to keep on smiling and look for the tasty treats underneath. It’s a question of balance: without hardship, the good times wouldn’t exist. Never give up—getting past the pineapple is what it’s all about.
2. Wear lightweight armourEver bitten into a whole pineapple? Didn’t think so. They’re tough old beasts at the worst of times, and so should you be. You want a solid outer shell to repel anyone trying to attack you, but you don’t need to harden up as far as the pineapple and dissuade people from talking to you altogether. Those in a full suit of wet copper armour don’t tend to be very approachable. (As Pratchett jokes—especially not in a thunder storm.)
3. Be patientThe moment a pineapple is picked, the fruit stops ripening. It’s a simple idea and a powerful one. Many people seem in a rush to ‘become’ something. Whether it’s a famous musician, a great designer or a problogger, don’t hurry to ripen. Your heroes became famous through hard work and good fortune and you’ll have to do the same. There’s no magic ticket — just take your time and enjoy the ride. Fame should be an added bonus; never a goal.
4. Aim for the sunFew fruits grow in heavy shade. Fewer still revel in the darkness. This creates a lovely two-step metaphor for living: first, you have to leave the darkness of anonymity and actually put yourself out there, both online and off. Second, you have to do something unique if you want to really be noticed — the tallest fruit trees rarely grow in the shade of others.
5. Respect your parentsMost fruit ripens to the point where it’s mature — then it drops and is no longer dependent on the tree. If you’re a parent, you’ll be laughing heartily at this metaphor! People aren’t like fruit, of course — we can call on our parents for life. (I chose simply never to mature!) Treasure the connection with your folks and try to really get to know them through your adult life. They probably have more to offer than you think.
